It’s the season finale! The Kardashians Season 5 Episode 10, “I Can’t Do This,” opens with Kris Jenner talking about her picture-perfect blood and Kim Kardashian’s interest in Horvath testing (not Whore Bath), which tells you your biological age.
Naturally, Kris is interested, but Khloé who, like the rest of us, puts ranch on pizza, is a little fearful of what the results might turn up.
Halfway across the world, Kourtney Kardashian Barker is in Sydney for the last stretch of the Blink-182 tour. Being the most lovey couple (second only to Corey Gamble and Kris), producers speak with Kourtney about her romantic tendencies. She admits to cameras how much of a romantic being with Travis Barker has made her.
KHLOÉ KARDASHIAN
That’s not the most shocking part of this scene, though. What’s shocking is that Kourtney, the queen of matcha, can’t make a decent cup! “It tastes like fish.”
Back in California, Kim is still meeting with reformed prisoners at Homeboy. Her work with prisons has been at the forefront of this season, as has her breaking into acting. She’s proud to bring the Hulu cameras and showcase these people who are, as Kim describes, deserving of a second chance.
A very “boots-on-the-ground” kind of woman, Kim isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. She dives right into making a croissant (albeit incorrectly, but we get there) and holds a woman’s hand as she goes through her laser tattoo removal. Imagine sharing that story around the dinner table.
Later in the episode, Kim, Khloé, and Scott Disick have blood drawn to check their biological ages.
KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN BARKER
*Googles ‘Horvath test near me.’*
I was willing to bet Scott has the highest biological age — the man has a past. Surprisingly, his results aren’t nearly as bad as I’d imagined!
Later it’s revealed Kris is six years younger biologically. This is super disappointing to the momager who thought she was at least 20 years younger. Kim is also younger, biologically 34-years-old. She’s aging 18 % slower than most people her age, which I’d like to think I’d be doing too if I had a chef preparing my meals.
Then there’s Khloé, who was the most nervous about this entire thing. However, she’s a whopping 12 years younger biologically. She freaks. Out. “The fat funny sister is 12 years younger than her chronological age!”
KENDALL JENNER
It’s no surprise Scott’s biological age is the same as his chronological age. He can’t change the past, but he’s on the path of better choices now. Will that slow down his aging?
In true Kardashians style, the finale ends with a recap from each family member about their year intermixed with scenes from a dinner where all of the cousins and most of the siblings (minus Kendall Jenner and Rob Kardashian) gather at Kylie Jenner’s home.
Mason Disick, who 1) is grown and 2) hasn’t been seen on the show in quite some time, shows up. Personally, he seems too cool for the show now. But I have full faith he’ll be back when the inevitable spinoff about the children takes off.
Until next season!
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Lauren Anderson
Lauren is the Affiliate Commerce Editor for Woman's World and First for Women. Before being paid to be an online shopper, Lauren covered reality TV and streaming shows for outlets like Netflix Life, Page Six, Collider, Popsugar, and Showbiz Cheat Sheet. When she's not writing, Lauren's either re-watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall, adding Bath & Body Works 3-wick candles to her cart, or planning her next Disney vacation.
