Barely even 6 months after the release of her last ep, “love & limerence,” Olivia O’Brien comes back to the scene of the crime to further explore her newfound independence with relatable pop tunes that dissect the depths of mental health. “everywhere i go, there i am” leaves behind a majority of the romantic love aspects but examines different relationships through the artist’s more mature lens.
“memory lane” starts the album with an infectious 80s aura that doesn’t feel out of place in O’Brien’s library. In fact, if the artist feels like releasing her next album covering the likes of The Bangles or Heart, it’s doubtful anyone would complain.
Suitingly, O’Brien dives into the past, shaking loose old memories from her childhood and adolescent years, sometimes looking at them with rose-colored glasses, while other times viewing the darkness that encircles the introspection. Slowly, the artist realizes that these timestamps in her mind are no longer a relevant representation of who or what currently surrounds her. Everything may appear the same, but looks can be deceiving.
“paradoxymoron” strips the music back to a beautiful and simple strumming of an acoustic guitar and the singer’s flare-resistant vocals. Once the chorus hits, a slight build in tempo feels almost dramatic without totally sweeping the audience off their feet.
The lyrics center around the paradox of being human — nearly everything we do contradicts our true feelings. ‘I’m too smart to make the same mistakes, but too dumb not to try. I’m too ugly to love my reflection but too pretty to complain.’
This song is full of basic truths and traps we all fall into at one time or another. Facing the reality of these contradictions may be the only way to truly overcome them once and for all.
“how would I know?” keeps in line with the previous track to nearly a fault. The similarities in sound and theme make the song seem like a continuation or a deeper dive rather than a different chapter of the same book. Without proper concentration, the switchover can be easily missed.
O’Brien questions her motives and goals in life, wondering aloud how she can give anyone answers because she’s more worried about getting high. These drugs are slowly dimming her spark and her effectiveness in the world. Sadly, she can see this all unfolding, but she is afraid that she’s powerless to overcome it.
I love burning bright, but I’m burning out. And I love getting high, but it’s killing me. How would I know what’s the wrong way to live, when I’m more scared of what it’d be like to not live right?
“lower” brings back the country-adjacent sound first brought about in “Born With A Broken Heart.” Although O’Brien refuses to infuse a southern twang into her vocals, her honest songwriting fits the genre just fine. A collaboration with Jelly Roll just might make some of us swoon.
Here, the singer uses clarity to approach her battle with depression. Throughout the years, the artist has tried multiple ways to defeat her sadness including pills, meditation, and vacations. Unfortunately, each attempt has led her to a new level of rock bottom.
There is no such thing as a cure-all when it comes to mental health. A war within an individual’s mind cannot be diagnosed into oblivion. The solutions are as varying as the people who live in this realm of melancholia.
That doesn’t mean that every channel shouldn’t be traversed — actually, the opposite is true. With determination and exploration, maybe your escape can eventually be discovered. The goal is to never stop trying.
The final track, “all the time,” focuses on the actuality of addiction with an upbeat and downright catchy tempo.
When caught up in a dirty habit, we tend to lie to ourselves until it is too late. Repeatedly the voices in our heads tell us that if we don’t cross a certain line, everything will be okay. In all honesty, we slowly move the bar past the point of recognition, further trapping ourselves in the biggest, blackest hole imaginable.
Our definition of ‘all the time’ changes with our increasingly bad behavior until complete dependency paints our portrait.
Clocking in at just over 15 minutes long, “everywhere i go, there i am” still makes an insightful impact. O’Brien’s words don’t only ring true — they’re highly relatable as well. Her discerning and perceptive intuition stretches far beyond her 25 years of age, helping us to understand the true depths of her despair.
One can’t help but wonder if this album is O’Brien’s cry for help.
With 3 tracks on a 5 song EP pertaining to addiction, it is safe to say the artist is at least questioning her life choices. Call it a quarter-life crisis if you will, but also understand, that answers can’t be found without first asking the proper questions.
What is your favorite track on “everywhere i go, there i am?” Let us know in the comments below!
Listen to “everywhere i go, there i am.”